Questions unanswered

Words on a page. What's the point?
The ticking of my keyboard, the scribble of my pencil against a random scrap of paper- trying to convey some kind of meaning.

What am I trying to say? Am I trying to tell you something?
More importantly, what are you getting out of it? Are you trying to read this through my perspective, which only I will truly understand, or are you reading it with your own spin on things? (Here's a hint- you should try for the latter.)
Are you taking what I say and molding it to the world around you; the reality of your life?
Or do you make futile and feeble guesses at what I'm going through that makes me write in the style I do with the content I choose?

Maybe "choose" is too harsh of a word. I believe in free will, don't get me wrong, but there are some things that I put down on paper that I know aren't fully mine. They're not stolen, either, but they're more of a sense of the world that happens to filter through my fingers and onto this page.

Like I said, love- words on a page.

happy (hāp'ē): joyful, blithe, cheerful, merry, blissful

I think I’m getting delirious, but I can’t really tell. Just sitting at work, listening to Crash and Burn by Savage Garden (oh hey, I was inspired by music again. Imagine that.)
For some reason, I just had a wave of happiness come over me. I wanted to get up and start dancing- I had this lifting and squeezing sensation around my middle that made me grin as wide as possible.
I pulled out my phone and shot off some upbeat texts to a few friends, hoping to spread my sudden happiness with those around me. It’s not just happiness I feel; I feel hopeful.
I want to stand on these tables and sing into an invisible microphone- but that’d hardly be appropriate (and I’d probably break something, knowing me.) I want to run out on the roof and into the sunlight, dancing in the brightness of the world.

It feels like this moment is permanently engrained in my mind, yet I know that there have been many others just like this, and many others yet to come.
I want to be surrounded by people I love and show them that I love them.

I can’t explain how it feels exactly.
It’s like the time between sleeping and waking when anything is possible; when your conscious and subconscious minds merge and flow together. You know that anything you try will succeed, without reason- you just KNOW.
It’s graduating from high school and looking at all the faces around you and realizing that the present has become the past. You feel as though you’re so young and inconsequential, but it opens so many other doors and time seems endless.
It’s the first day of freshman year- every single memory you’re about to make is set out in front of you, just waiting patiently for you to find them. You look around, knowing that you’re about to spend the next few years of your life here and expecting whatever you choose to, but the reality is always a little differently.

I guess what I’m feeling are possibilities and expectations:
I no longer expect anything of today, of this week, of this year. I feel carried away from concerns that plague every regular person with their daily reminders. Not that I lack expectations, but they no longer matter to me as much as they should- I am able to place them aside.
I feel like I’m in a movie, but here it comes: anything is possible. I could be here now, leave tomorrow, and be halfway across the world in a matter of days. Hell, I could be ALL the way across the world! Nothing is set in stone for my future, just rough sketches that outline my desires of where I want to go. If my future is truly mine, why not spend it doing something I love? With that frame of mind, I can fast forward through my life with a continually happy feeling just a moment away.

Moral of my ponderings: why waste time being upset about the little things when you can be happy and grateful for everything?

Unexpected experiences

The night ended. They fell asleep.
Two strangers' lives now entwined by the hands of fate.
He fails to recall the night's events in the following hours, she's left with questions about herself.

Undie Run 2009!!

Bumpin'

I love music. I could never be a singer or be in a band, but I love how music sounds/feels.
Classical- Moonlight Sonata by Beethoven
Pop/rock- all you wanted by Michelle Branch
Hip hop turned soft- Halo by Beyonce
old rock- carry on my wayward son by Kansas
pop- stickwitu by the Pussycat Dolls
Heavy metal- through fire and flames by Dragonforce

they all have such different feels to them...
I often find myself getting lost among the beats.
that thump through my speakers corresponds with the throb of my heart
sometimes makes it pain, sometimes makes it heal.
makes me think, makes me wonder, makes me want to live
makes me want to dance. want to write.
Makes my thoughts completely incoherent so that all i can do is sit and listen, mesmerized.

Like right now. (Angel- Natasha Bedingfield)