Life goals

Among the other epiphanies I stumbled across this summer, I had a rather important one this morning.
Aside from being a closet writer, I love science. (As I've told you before...)
Yet it's not just science, but specifically plants- I love them and always have.
They're this constant force in the dynamic world around us and they fascinate me to no end.

I decided that I want to work in a botanical garden. Sure, everyone around me is continuing research to work at a university. But me, I want to make a difference. I want to be a part of something bigger than a research project stuck in a lab on some university campus.
I want to be outside, watching the plants grow! I want to give them kindness and nurturing and watch them flourish in response.
I may end up in New York, Denver, Missouri, Hawaii, or maybe even Sweden.
Who knows?
I want to work as a greenhouse supervisor, or maybe a post doctoral researcher, or possibly run an entire botanical garden myself. As long as it keeps me with the plants, I'm happy.
I know that it's not my destiny, but my destination.
Now I have to determine the path best suited to lead me there...

Wish me luck!

Water and wanting.

I want it to rain.
I want to feel the drops sting my skin as I walk through the sheets of water.
I want to have my hair lie slick against my scalp.
I want to taste the world in an instant.
I want to run through the puddles like I'm not almost 19.
I want to watch it all just wash away.
I want everyone else to stay inside; I keep the stormiest weather for myself.
I want the colors in this picture of perfection to flow down the streets and into the gutter.
I want to feel human and all too alive.
I want to remember that there are some things I have no control over.
I want to be cleaned by the sky.
I want to feel connected.
I want it all to blur together.
I want to stand outside in the mist until I start shivering.
I want to watch the spotted patterns create themselves on the sidewalk.
I want to hear the satisfying rush of car tires and miniature tsunamis.
I want to feel drenched, full, complete.

I want it to rain.