I think I’m getting delirious, but I can’t really tell. Just sitting at work, listening to Crash and Burn by Savage Garden (oh hey, I was inspired by music again. Imagine that.)
For some reason, I just had a wave of happiness come over me. I wanted to get up and start dancing- I had this lifting and squeezing sensation around my middle that made me grin as wide as possible.
I pulled out my phone and shot off some upbeat texts to a few friends, hoping to spread my sudden happiness with those around me. It’s not just happiness I feel; I feel hopeful.
I want to stand on these tables and sing into an invisible microphone- but that’d hardly be appropriate (and I’d probably break something, knowing me.) I want to run out on the roof and into the sunlight, dancing in the brightness of the world.
It feels like this moment is permanently engrained in my mind, yet I know that there have been many others just like this, and many others yet to come.
I want to be surrounded by people I love and show them that I love them.
I can’t explain how it feels exactly.
It’s like the time between sleeping and waking when anything is possible; when your conscious and subconscious minds merge and flow together. You know that anything you try will succeed, without reason- you just KNOW.
It’s graduating from high school and looking at all the faces around you and realizing that the present has become the past. You feel as though you’re so young and inconsequential, but it opens so many other doors and time seems endless.
It’s the first day of freshman year- every single memory you’re about to make is set out in front of you, just waiting patiently for you to find them. You look around, knowing that you’re about to spend the next few years of your life here and expecting whatever you choose to, but the reality is always a little differently.
I guess what I’m feeling are possibilities and expectations:
I no longer expect anything of today, of this week, of this year. I feel carried away from concerns that plague every regular person with their daily reminders. Not that I lack expectations, but they no longer matter to me as much as they should- I am able to place them aside.
I feel like I’m in a movie, but here it comes: anything is possible. I could be here now, leave tomorrow, and be halfway across the world in a matter of days. Hell, I could be ALL the way across the world! Nothing is set in stone for my future, just rough sketches that outline my desires of where I want to go. If my future is truly mine, why not spend it doing something I love? With that frame of mind, I can fast forward through my life with a continually happy feeling just a moment away.
Moral of my ponderings: why waste time being upset about the little things when you can be happy and grateful for everything?
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