Procrastination

There is something so daunting about a blank word document.
especially when I have to write something for a deadline.
Some kind of biology paper about the research I've been doing
where I've been spending all my time when I'm not behind the mic
or letting the world wash over me
smooth all the jagged edges that have a tendency to appear whenever the order in my life is torn apart

and I know that my fingers know how to fly over the square silver keys in front of me
forming letters
forming words
forming sentences
forming ideas
forming thoughts
forming the entire summary that just feels like it's stuck in my head
and I can't properly translate it.

So I lose myself in my social circles
indulgence in facebook and text messages to other friends who hate blank word documents just as much as I do
skimming through my music, saying that I'll start once I find the right song
I'll write once it feels right

but there are so many other things that I want to say
so many other dances on my keyboard that my fingers want to partake in
so I feel restricted
structured
straight jacket bound into producing something useful
proving that my mind has been engaged for these last 9 months of school
that my head has been pregnant with ideas i'm just waiting to give birth to
letting them develop until they're ready to stand on their own
supporting them until they've been properly raised and can be alright in this world out on their own

but I can't get my mind to tell my neurons in my brain to electrically shock my muscle fibers to start the translation of information that is stuck in my head due to procrastination.