Checkpoint

I feel like by now, I should have more things figured out.
I should know the landscape beyond the mountains in the distance
I should know why the flowers bloom in the spring or why the trees lose their leaves in the fall
I should know how to get a baby to stop crying but I don't remember what it's like to feel that much raw innocent emotion

I feel like my name should have been graffiti scrawled across more trains- of thought
like i should have found a star with my name so when I get lost in the darkness I can always rediscover my identity and remember to shine
Actually, fuck the stars, I want to be a daughter of the moon and become part of the sun
so I can shine the brightest and bring warmth where it is needed

I should have trained a guide dog so that I can have some part in helping a blind person find their way
I should have given back more to a community that's given me so much
I should take my zipper and tack it up like a poster so I don't forget how to be a fly on the wall
I should have gone skydiving just so I'm sure that I'm not afraid to fall- but I'd want to check my parachute before I jump, just in case
I should have taken more chances to ghost ride the whip to remind the OC that I've got as much norcal hometown pride as my music has slaps
I should practice my handstands more so I don't forget how to see things from a different perspective

I feel like I'm so much older than the timeline of my spine indicates; I've been carrying enough weight on my shoulders to hunch over like I'm crippled with old age
I should have learned how to be a thief, so I could steal time back and spend it with the ones I've lost
I shouldn't have denied so many muses when they kissed my mind and asked to spend the night, because I hate waking up next to an unloved pencil and blank pages that stare at me with empty lined eyes

I feel like I should stop asking why and start asking why not?
I shouldn't be so afraid to sing in public
even though I suck
because sometimes
I've got a pocket got a pocketful of sunshine
and I just need to express that
I should run through the sprinklers on my way to class so I don't forget what it's like to be a kid
I should remember that poems are never finished, only forgotten
But I should also remember that poems are just a piece of my soul put onto paper, so I really shouldn't forget about them

I shouldn't be jealous of the girls that strut around like pretty flowers when most days I feel like a cactus because
I should remember that a cactus has spines because it has something worth protecting
I should never hesitate to let my friends know how much they mean to me
I should remember that my personal rite of passage is a passage of writing
I shouldn't pass up an opportunity to say how proud I am to be a rabbit- so let me tell you right now that even if you can't see them, I've got two big fuzzy ears sticking up like satellite receptors
Waiting to hear my next inspiration; always alert for a good rhythm or a moving metaphor
or even just a guy who isn't afraid to admit that he is fucking cool
I should remember to listen to my teachers instead of texting
I should remember to spend less money and more time on those I care about
I should remember call my family and tell them I love them more
I really should start remembering to remember.