Superwoman

I'm living a double life.
See, I have two identities.

If you're surprised by this, then you probably only know the one that I use on a daily basis.
If this is making sense, then you probably already know what I'm about to say.

I'm superwoman.

I'm flying high
above expectations
and like any good superhero,
I try to help those who truly need me.

See, it all started back when I was a little girl
Born to two mortal parents who never failed to support me
but I was also an orphan
I was the daughter of hope; I was sired by justice
I'm not sure if they're both dead, but some days it sure feels like it.
but when they were around,
She taught me to always look forward even when your past tries to blind you
and he reminded me to always join the battle for what is right
or i would be left
behind by the potential person I wanted to be
and I became a wishful wide eyed warrior
who preferred being a pacifist to clenching a fist
learned that holding a hand was easier than holding a grudge
and being able to make someone smile through their tears
felt like making a rainbow appear in the middle of a thunderstorm.

See, being superwoman gives me certain powers.
My middle ear is super strong
so that I can always remain balanced.
My hands are super sized
so that I can hold many people close to me
I can cradle their worries and fears in my fingertips
and soothe them to sleep with the lullaby rhythm
of palms that softly sweep across their back.
consequently, my feet are super sized too
which means that I can stand my ground
firmly. Steadfast. Stubborn and unrelenting.
but it also lets me take huge steps forward
in my life; always getting closer to the future I've set up for myself.

and yes, I wear a cape
because it reminds me of the weight that I carry around
it lets others know exactly who I am
and because it looks damn sexy.

And so I've learned to use my powers for the better.
If my symbol should light up the sky or light up the screen on my cell phone
a simple call for help or a plea for reassurance
I don't arrive empty handed;
I'll show up with glitter glue in one hand and a broom in the other
to pick up the broken pieces of dreams
and put them back together
They may not look the same,
but they'll still be beautiful.
Or I'll show up with lotion and a magnifying glass
so I can massage away the knots that are tied by a worried mind
I'd break the magnifying glass and replace it with a paintbrush
because this world is about creating beauty, not finding it.
Or I'll show up with chocolate and rain boots
like a wise young woman once said
because there's no heartbreak that chocolate can't fix
okay there are a few heartbreaks that chocolate can't fix
but that's the rainboots are for
because rain will wash away everything if you let it

My only weakness is the truth.
Fear that those around me will realize what I'm trying so hard to hide
that after telling you all of this,
you'll realize
I'm not really superwoman.
I'm just someone who's somewhere past halfway between being a girl and becoming a woman
who likes to take on the problems of others
as well as her own
just so that there's a little less sadness in the world.

But even super heros have their breaking point.
So if you look on the underside of my cape
you might see tear stains
etched into the shape of memories that sound like the last conversation I had with my grandmother.
My solid, planted stance was almost uprooted
when I got the phone call from one of my closest friends
who had tried to take his own life.
and my super hands are just fine
but I'm mildly afraid of the hands of others
because I've had two different pairs of hands
that wandered the canvas of my body
without my permission
and took certain things that I can't quite name
but I know I can never get them back.


So my balance is a little bit off right now
because I've taken so many blows from recent events
that my head is still spinning.
I'll still try to wear my cape
still try to wrap my fingers around all the sadness that I can
still try to walk like I know where I'm going
try not to fall over from being so worn down.

and I hope that sometime soon
when I hear people remark
it's a bird! no, it's a plane!
I'll shake my head and smile
let them know that I may look like superwoman
I may act like superwoman

but I'm still just
human.